Weekend Adventures

One.

On Saturday, I was shopping in a hardware store on Ninth Ave. for elements of my Halloween costume - Danger Girl. I was buying "Danger" and "Beware of Dog" signs to stick to me and I was looking for some of that yellow Caution tape to use as some kind of sash or something. The nice hardware store guy went all around the store looking for me and finally he came back and said, "we only have this 'Danger' tape is that okay?"
"THAT'S EVEN BETTER!!!" I screamed.
"So you're in theater, huh?" he asked.
I was so caught.


Two.

Today I was having brunch outside with my boyfriend and friend of mine from college. We were having a great time. Eggs. Beautiful day. Great people. What could be better? An old woman came walking along and stopped and leaned in from outside the sidewalk-dining partition and, we all later agreed, for a split second we were all affraid of what would happen. Would she say something crazy? Would she ask for money? Would she spit on our food? And she looked at me and smiled and said "someone's happy."
I said, "That's me." And she was gone.
Thing is: she was right. And I like to think that the whole world CAN see how happy I am even though that's probably an overly romantic take on it. :)

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out for a drink

last night my brother came into the city to have dinner with me - he's home from college for october break - and after dinner we met up with my boyfriend for a drink at the irish pub type place near his apartment.

since i'd started with red wine at dinner, i thought it made sense to stick with that. however, the bar was one of those places where you're probably better off with a beer.

so i asked the waitress.

me: which of the red wines do you reccomend?
waitress: well i don't really know, i don't drink them.
me: well, which one do people make happy faces about?
waitress: well, it's alcohol so usually they just drink it.

gotcha.
i'll have the merlot.

another mean pedestrian

AHHHH!!!

So the other night - Friday night, I think - my boyfriend and I went to the video store to rent a movie. We were going to watch the movie at my house which meant we had to get something on VHS since the only DVD player is in my little laptop and the sound isn't very good.

We go to the video store and we can't find anything. So we ask about the Hitchhiker's guide movie - they don't have it AT ALL in VHS!! Then i remember a great old Doris Day movie, we look up the title in that big reference book they have and I ask about that - THEY DON'T HAVE IT! We finally settle on North by Northwest and get out of there.

We're walking up the avenue to my apt. and I'm telling my boyfriend how unimpressed I was with the video store lady. I'd never seen her before and the reguar lady is MUCH more helpful. He is completely agreeing.

Then, out of nowhere, this older guy pedestrian - like late 50's early 60's, vaguely ratty looking, beard, grey hair - walks past us in the other direction and he's saying "Whine whine whine whine whine whine whine whine whine whine whine . . ."

I turned around, stopped in my tracks, and was literally mouth-open agog at this man's rudeness. First, I wasn't whining. Second, you don't just DO that! that's SO RUDE!!

I'm still annoyed that my ninja reflexes didn't allow me to swivel and give him a sharp kick in the arse. Gah! Ninja reflexes why do you fail me?!?!?

just so you know

hard: writing a radio play
harder: writing a radio play that makes sense as a mystery
hardest: writing a radio play that makes sense as a mystery and that will keep twenty nine year olds entertained for a morning. that means having enough acting parts for half of them and enough sound effects parts for the other half. and don't think that you can just write a part and that some nine year old will do it. oh no! that nine year old is gonna filp through that script the minute you give it to him and he's gonna count the lines that, for his convenience, you so thoughtfuly highlighted in advance. and if he doesn't have a lot of lines he's gonna complain, and loudly. he will never thank you for your pre-highlighting. he will never pronounce the words "mezmerizing" or "conscience" correctly. but after you've satisfied the unsatisfyable and ungrateful nine year olds you have to pick out music that will suit the mood of the radio play. you have to edit that music - loop it, perhaps - and burn a cd. and you have to make a filemaker document of all of the parts and sound effects so that you can print every part onto a separate avery label so that you can affix the labels to the kids according to the parts they are assigned. and when those kids are all covered in sound effects, they're probably gonna look really cute. and that's important, because it's going to be a key factor in your keeping your cool and maintaining perpetual patience. and then you have to make a prompt book so that the sound effects director can direct, control and contain the sound effects kids because if you don't do that, they will become wild children and piggy's head will end up on a stake right by the elevators which isn't likely to garner particularly positive feedback from the parents at the end of the workshop.

home

i went home last night to visit my mom who lives in New Jersey - an easy ride on the commuter bus from the scenic port authority bus terminal in mid-town.

as usual, there were goldfish crackers (a special mom's house treat), excitable dogs, a delicious meal and lots to drink. last night it was wine.

what was different was even better.

i was telling my mom that i'm having an appointment today to meet with a photographer about taking new headshots. and my mom looked at me and said "wear that!" "That" was jeans and a short sleeved t-shirt over a long sleeved t-shirt. It's my favorite hang-around ensemble for fall. What felt so good was the sense that my mom was seeing me for who I am. And liking me. And trusting me to be myself in a way that, a few years ago, I think she would have fussed more and counseled me to wear more makeup or do something different with my hair or . . . I don't know. But she didn't do any of those things and it was awesome.

It was such a treat to have such a good visit with my mom. I like it when she and I can get along.

iced mochacino

3:30 at the coffee place up the block today was a DRAMATIC time.

long, unorganized lines,
a new guy who didn't really know what to do,
and a disproportionate number of cappucino and espresso orders all at once.

it was the wrong day to order an iced mochacino.

that poor new guy was freakin' out.
the manager (with unfortunate partially-bleached hair) had to come out and help.
i was asked to repeat my order three times.

i waited patiently, eschewing the heavy sighs of impatient customers for hands folded and a placid semi-glazed over stare.

then:

the placid, wise casheer who'd taken my order turned to me and the man standing next to me waiting for two skim cappucinos and asked "would you like a cookie while you're waiting?" YES! As simple as a lollypop after a visit to the dentist or a piece of bologna from the deli guy while he slices cold cuts for your mother - we are as easy to placate as the average seven year-old.

I think it's sort of nice when simple, small things are enough; when the meaning of a gesture comes through.

actually crazy

i seem to be. actually crazy, that is.

the craziest has been the conversation that's been going on in my head these past few days:

how does one reconcile imperfection with happiness?
how can i wish for more in my life without thinking my life is crummy?
how can i not like everything about myself without hating myself?

i don't know.
What I do know is that the awesome spiral of self flagelation I'm in sure does make me feel bad and I'm not sure it makes anything better.

i just don't know.