Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Black on the outside because . . .

Today I am imagining darker things.

I have already imagined my mouth full of dead kitten.

There is the thought of my fat cells multiplying like rabbits so that within hours I am literally suffocated by rolls and rolls of flesh and fat - a terrible un-sexy version of the hulk, bursting from my clothes.

I imagine that people look at me and can not see who I am - that I am chronically misperceived and misinterpreted. My family. My friends. My coworkers. My sweetheart. Somehow, in the dark cave of eternal night, none of these people know me. They either stay and make me crazy or they leave and make me sad. It's very frustrating and quite lonely.

I imagine that everyone is as critical of myself as I am.

Friday, December 03, 2004

Action Girl

I put on my new shoes - the black quasi-sneaker-mary-jane-hybrid ones with the orange stitching - and turned into an action hero.

It helps that I'm dressed all in black and that my hair is up in a functional-yet-fetching ponytail.


I'm the one who got the two PhD's before she'd hit her mid-twenties.
I'm the one who usually works in the lab or at HQ but who, when we join the story in progress - shortly after the opening credits have rolled - is called out for what should be some routine field work but which turns into international spy action adventure.
I'm the one who's like Emma Peale but kinda cooler.
I'm Emma Peale if she were Tina Fey.

These shoes, clearly, an excellent purchase.

Thursday, December 02, 2004


I could've sworn that I heard the radio tell me this morning that the Philippines is being ravaged by a Tycoon.

"Damn rich people," I thought.

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

another reason to hate old people

So that guy Ken lost Jeopardy.

I never saw him play. Not once. And I really like Jeopardy - I just never watch anymore.

Every time I heard about him I couldn't help but think about that David Foster Wallace story - "Little Furry Animals," is it?

Anyway, this from the article in the New York Times:

"It's difficult just because it never really lets up," he said. "It's always the
same questions. It's always the viselike grip of the little old ladies."

His wife said: "He's had bruises on his arm. I'm not kidding."

Viselike grip. Bruises. Old ladies are BEASTS!