Black on the outside because . . .

Today I am imagining darker things.

I have already imagined my mouth full of dead kitten.

There is the thought of my fat cells multiplying like rabbits so that within hours I am literally suffocated by rolls and rolls of flesh and fat - a terrible un-sexy version of the hulk, bursting from my clothes.

I imagine that people look at me and can not see who I am - that I am chronically misperceived and misinterpreted. My family. My friends. My coworkers. My sweetheart. Somehow, in the dark cave of eternal night, none of these people know me. They either stay and make me crazy or they leave and make me sad. It's very frustrating and quite lonely.

I imagine that everyone is as critical of myself as I am.