Bad Dream

Tonight after work I'm going to see a movie with a friend and, after, we're going to go out for dinner. We've selected a restaurant that I used to frequent with my ex - I found it, but it was near where he used to work.

I was thinking about these plans as I walked to work this morning, and I had a fantasy.

I imagined that I was sitting there with my friend and my ex came with his new girlfriend - the one he left me for and who's super jealous of/paranoid about me (in real life). He tries to convince her to go somewhere else, but she realizes something's up. He's in a corner and he has no choice but to come clean and admit that I'm there and that's why he thinks they should leave. She and I have never met and she's curious and feeling like the victor in the situation, so she starts to make a fuss, digging in her heels. This is when I notice that he's there and quickly ascertain what has happened. While I do everything I can to remain incognito, I am now obliged to begin explain the situation in hushed tones to my dining companion. The next thing I know, this woman is standing over our table, saying something antagonistic. She's saying something insulting. She's implying that she wants us to leave - that she and my ex somehow have more of a right to be there. I'm calm. I'm centered. I say that this is between her and my ex and between me and my ex, but there is absolutely nothing between she and I and since everything I've heard and, now, seen about her fills me with derision, it's probably best to keep it that way. I address my ex calmly over her head, using my pet name for him which I know will make her crazy. "We've already ordered and this is Manhattan. Surely you could find some other place to enjoy your meal . . . I just think that if the two of you stay, none of us will have a very nice time this evening." The matter is settled. I turn my attention back to my friend sitting across the table from me. He is startled but impressed with my cool ferocity. The ex is clearly embarrassed by his date. Now they're having a fight. He half drags her out of the restaurant. I win.